When You Don't Fit

A recent shopping trip with my son Archie was a strange and dispiriting experience. Not his company, he is always great to hang around with, but what a slog it was trying to find a suit to fit the physique of a sporty 20-year-old.

Strange topic for a blog! But it got me pondering on inclusivity, the messages thrown at us, and how we maintain confidence in a world that tells us we don’t fit! I was also minded of the notion of ‘independent thinking’ which is the life mission of author and educationalist Nancy Kline – more of that later.  

So, to the beginning. The object of our social experiment, Archie is a fit and sporty young chap who plays rugby, runs frequently and goes to the gym regularly with a pretty decent squat best of 190kg. He is off to a wedding soon and needed a new suit. 

Neither of us like shopping so we were focused and determined to make the purchase in one trip. At first glance, there seemed to be lots of choice and he went off to try on a few variations in the colours and styles he fancied.

While the rails were full of different fabrics and colours, it turns out there was no variation in the fit. Despite visible signs advertising a range including Regular Fit there was only Slim and Tailored available. 

We decided to try another shop. Same problem. I asked about this lack of range, to be told “ah yes we don’t have any Regular Fit as Tailored and Slim are the fashion now”. What? What about a suit that actually fits the person?  

In the third shop, we got the sense that this was a bigger problem as I immediately just asked to be directed to anything “not super tight in the leg”. I was told that there was nothing and on asking where the rugby section was (sarcastically – see earlier comment about us not liking shopping!), the shop assistant said “ha, good one, we often get this problem, with runners as well”. 

What is going on in the world of retail? Styles are subject to fashion but to have no option for anyone with a sporty physique? This seems odd.

I was reminded of a chapter in Nancy Kline’s latest book ‘The Promise’ where she continued her mission to encourage us to be aware of how our freedoms of thought are being compromised. Perhaps we are becoming more aware of our online algorithms feeding us a restricted track of information, but she used a physical example of walking through a shopping centre in Oxford. She tells the story of browsing in multiple shops and after a time being drawn towards buying a candle of a certain make. She examines why she was compelled to ‘make that decision’. Did she set out with a need to make the purchase? No. Did she know she wanted that type? No. What really happens is that the buying decisions of the retailers are set for them 18 months ago and all the retail outlets then conform by offering up the same items to us.  

We don’t have choice, we are being fed predetermined ‘norm’ and sadly, it seems that the bold Archie just didn’t figure in the Spring 2026 catalogue.  

How did that feel for the youngster? At one point during the whole debacle, he did say ‘what happened to body positive’. Fair point. There have been some strides, in female fashion...actually, I’m just going to leave that comment with no ending as it’s still rubbish isn’t it!

Luckily, he has no truck with this kind of thing, perhaps helped in a small part by me telling both boys the story of me as a tall gangly teenager exclaiming (and crying) “I can’t fit into anything” and my dad firmly saying “it’s not you who doesn’t fit, the clothes need to be better.”

What do I take away from these ponderings? Firstly, Nancy Kline is right, we need to be vigilant with how we are being ‘managed’ and how our choices are being ‘curated’. If we are different, we are not wrong. And if we want to think differently, we’re doing society a favour!

Secondly, insights can be in a closed loop. In this retail example there are likely stats showing that the Regular Fit suits don’t sell. We did find one Regular Fit in the whole of the Metrocentre (yes you read that right, ONE) but there will be zero data on the times we left the other shops. What other feedback loops can benefit from a wider perspective? 

But finally, my main take away is that I’m going to open a suit shop for rugby players – watch for the adverts at next year’s Six Nations, it’s going to be great!  

Audrey Macnaughton is a leadership trainer and coach, and you can get in touch with her via audrey@2macs.com